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Jingdong book

恋爱从失恋开始

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Jingdong book

恋爱从失恋开始

Name: 恋爱从失恋开始
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3132000441
Price: 24.23 USD
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国内第一本以具体操作方法写成的失恋开导书，手把手传授情感逆袭之道，非隔靴搔痒的治愈系美文。
真正健康的恋爱讲究的是平衡，平衡的男女关系才是恋爱长久的王道。
“挽回”必败。拯救失去的爱情不是靠“挽回”，而是要“逆转”——从被“分手”到被“求复合”。
从恋爱投资、需求感、托付心态、服从法则、格局思想、社交价值、生活重建等全方面提供恋爱不畅的解决方案，实现爱情大逆袭。

Content Description

《恋爱从失恋开始》这是国内第一本以具体操作方法写成的失恋开导书，有别于其他所有治愈系美文。本书崇尚平衡的男女关系，只有平衡的关系才能长久。本书并不认可挽回恋情，本书的宗旨是，帮助失恋的人实现爱情大逆转：让被“分手”的你，实现被“求复合”。
《恋爱从失恋开始》将从恋爱投资、需求感、托付心态、服从法则、格局思想、社交价值、重建生活等多个方面阐述失恋逆转的相关原理和操作办法。最终帮助所有恋爱不畅的人走出阴霾，重新获得美好的爱情。

Author Description

林孑，为了方便沟通，网友称之为“林子”，大学毕业后接触到两性吸引的学问，潜心研究男女恋爱关系，颇有心得，后在豆瓣小组陆续写成“林孑失恋开导流程”，受到众多失恋以及恋爱不畅的朋友们的追捧。无数人受其影响，开始研究两性吸引的学问，探究在男女交往中两性关系的秘密。现今，林子创办了“林孑工作室”，希望可以帮助更多恋爱不畅的人走出感情的阴霾，重新获得美好的爱情。

Comments

你不可能没心没肺地就把一场恋爱谈好。这话真有道理，恋爱也是个项目，林孑理智地分析强过贴心的抚慰。被追的时候不能懈怠、忘记思考，被甩的时候倒得任由他去。下次恋爱一定把心肺智慧都用上。失恋是堂复习课，准备下次再开考。
——呆子子

聪明的林孑，我是专门来感激你的，你的失恋流程我全部拜读了，我现在才领悟了我失恋的原因。
——米兰妮

谢谢你。如果早几天看到你的文章，我们也许就不会分手了。
——愤怒的灵魂

林孑说得很对的，最低智商、最没用的人才是直接去挽回。要想以后不会再发生被甩的事情，就是要把对方重新吸引过来。
——虚荣心小姐

Catalogue

网友如是说 001
前言 001
Part One 恋爱的那些秘密
002 男女关系平衡理论
011 投资学――究竟什么是感情
021 神秘的“吸引学”
030 最糟糕的恋爱模式
043 秘密：他为什么离开你
Part Two 失恋，遇见更好的自己
058 男人烦了，你就完了
065 消除“托付心态”――你要独立
075 生气吗？你只是在生自己的气
082 认清自己，我们都是弱者
086 番外篇：我和畅畅的故事
Part Three 失恋，逆转的艺术
096 失恋逆转整体操作流程
106 “断联”的有效原理是什么
117 逆转的两个前提条件
132 逆转法则之一：服从法则
142 逆转法则之二：降低需求感
147 逆转法则之三：扩大社交圈
154 逆转――找回“生活的盼头”
160 番外篇：林孑的故事
Part Four 恋爱，从失恋开始
170 人都是花心的
176 恋爱中的“一个巴掌拍不响”
183 “吸引”是两个人的情不自．禁
188 挽回必败――“格局思想”
194 男人是需要调教的
202 番外篇：《爱情公寓》的启示
恋爱那些事 209
从失恋开始 220
后记 241

Book Abstract

失恋了我们为什么难过
失恋了，人就会难过。我相信那种痛到心碎的感觉一定是每一个失恋人都终身难忘的。
我们先从恋爱投资学的角度分析失恋为什么会让人难过，恋爱投资学贯穿整个恋爱过程，因此掌握恋爱投资学非常重要。
我们绝大多数人都会有这样一种想法：有投资，就应该有回报。结合到恋爱中就是：有投资，也就是付出，就希望能收获相应的果实。
我所说的投资，不是狭隘地指金钱上的投资。我们在恋爱中的投资包括情感、精力、时间、金钱等，特别是情感上的投资。
比如说：一对恋人在一起相恋了4年，到最后分手了，那肯定是要难过的。
为什么？
你想想看，在这两人共同度过的4年中，他们投入了多少的情感、时间、精力、金钱？闭上眼睛，满脑子都是两人一起去过的那些地方，发生过的那么多事情，快乐的、难过的、温暖的、遗憾的……想都想不完。
特别是初恋，一般人都是非常认真、非常投入的，所以付出（投资）也是非常多的。
那么，请思考这个问题：分手意味着什么？
分手是一件很严重的事，因为分手意味着你什么都没有了。
4年的感情，你投资了那么多的情感、精力、时间、金钱，可是到头来呢，你们分手了，你什么都没有了，你之前所有的投资都打水漂了，除了回忆，没有其他任何回报。
人往往就是这样：对于一些事物，自己在上面做了大量的投资，但到头来却一无所获，这时候人就会失落，就会伤心、难过。恋爱也是如此：我们为之付出了那么多的情感、精力、时间，还有金钱，但是一旦分手，除了回忆，什么也没有了——这真是很令人伤心、难过!
这样一来就有一个问题：失恋了，我们难过，可我们究竟是为什么而难过，是因为失去了那个人，还是因为自己的付出全白费了？
很多时候，失恋后我们难过，不一定是因为我们有多么喜欢那个人，说真的。也许真没想象中的那么喜欢，更不是离不开他，只不过是我们为之付出的太多了，“不愿意放手”就是这个意思。
很多时候，我们不放手，并不是舍不得那个人，我们只是舍不得那些投资罢了。
怎样让一个人爱上自己
从产生感情的过程来看，首先你要具备能够吸引他、能引起他的兴趣的价值，这是最基本的，至少你的个人价值不至于低到让对方讨厌，甚至不屑一顾。
如果你们之间的价值差距实在太大，那么我有两个建议：
1.努力提升自己的价值，缩小差距，甚至超越他；
2.直接放弃。
然后，你要做的就是在他面前展示你的价值，特别是他感兴趣的那一方面。你这么做的目的，是引起他的关注。他在关注你，实际上就是在对你进行投资。
但仅仅是简单的、初步的关注还不够。记住，感情是建立在时间和精力投资的基础上的。你需要想方设法地让他持续对你进行投资。
实际上，他在想你，他关心你，他对你嘘寒问暖，他关注你的QQ心情，关注你的微博……这一切，都是他在对你进行投资。你需要创造使他对你进行投资的机会，而且是对这种投资有所期待的那种。
而一旦这种投资持续到足够的时间或者积累到一定的量，那么他就会对你产生感情。时间越长，积累的量越大，这种感情就越深厚。
所以，回答这个问题：怎样让一个人爱上自己？
答案就是：先让他对你有兴趣，然后想办法让他对你进行持续的投资即可。
他对你投资越来越多，也就会对你用情越来越深。
“吸引”是两个人的情不自禁
有几个问题，不知大家想过没有：
他为什么拒绝你？
为什么开始对你冷淡？
为什么说不喜欢你了？
为什么说对你没感觉了?
为什么劈腿了？
为什么跟你分手？
你再怎么求他，甚至跪下来抱住他的大腿，他都不回头了。他那么冷，冷得让你心碎，让你心寒，让你流泪。
这一切究竟是为什么？他为什么不喜欢你，或者说不再喜欢你了？
因为吸引。
因为你已经不能够再吸引他了。
很多人问：我们几年的感情，难道他没有真心爱过我吗？
我回答你，别看他现在对你冷，但是当初他确实是真心爱你的。我保证，当初他确实是真心的。只是，现在不爱了，不喜欢了。
关于喜欢一个人，我要提醒一下朋友们：
喜欢一个人不是主动的行为，而是被动的。你这个姑娘很有魅力，柔情似水，那么就会对他产生吸引力，他就会喜欢你。
而不是一个姑娘去对男孩说：你来喜欢我啊，快来喜欢我啊。你知道吗？我喜欢你，很喜欢你，所以你也快来喜欢我啊。
很多姑娘会说让人很无奈的话：你干吗不喜欢我啊？
要明白，是你吸引了我，我被你吸引了，然后我才会去喜欢你。你这个人不能吸引我，不是我的菜，你却要求我拼命去喜欢你，拼命去爱你，这真是很让人“蛋疼”啊！
如果他不是发自真心地喜欢你，你一眼就能看出来。恋爱是两个人的相互吸引，是两个人的情不自禁。所以，各位一定要记住顺序，记住逻辑关系：先有两个人的相互吸引，而后才有喜欢，才有男女之间的恋爱。没有吸引，就没有喜欢。
在感情中，在男女关系中，记住：没有吸引，就没有一切！
……

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