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Jingdong book

把男孩培养成男人

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把男孩培养成男人

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哥伦布曾言:“世界史勇敢者的天下。”可自私狭隘、唯唯诺诺的男人怎能有所担当?!“男人”何以至此?“男孩”教育失误使然。
《把男孩培养成男人》为著名父教专家东子先生,经过十年的追踪调查采访,结合多年教育研究体会和教子心得,为家有男孩的家长细心奉献的教育新思想,帮助家长们培养出成功的孩子,将男孩塑造成性格完善、有责任与担当的好男人。
Content Description

千百年来,因性别不同,男性与女性天然的性格差异,成就了世界的纷繁美丽;男人与女人社会角色的不同,使人类社会和谐前行。而当今呈现给我们的事实是,性别依旧,而性格趋同,长此以往,世界有可能不再美丽。让男人更像男人,应该从男孩的教育开始。
《把男孩培养成男人》是著名父教专家、家教书畅销作者东子先生经过10年的追踪调查采访,结合多年教育研究体会和教子感受,针对当前男孩教育的弊端和缺陷入手,为家有男孩的家长倾情奉献的一本实用的培养手册。他准确地总结出优秀男人的十大必备品德,深入剖析了每一类品德的特点和引导之道,并以生动活泼的经典案例指出培养男孩的误区和应避免的问题,语言自然亲近,道理深入浅出。阅读此书,家长不仅能够确立今后培养孩子的方向,还可以走进儿子的心灵,读懂他的想法,在帮助男孩顺利成长为优秀男人的同时,自身也得以再次成长,收获美满幸福的家庭。
翻开《把男孩培养成男人》,与儿子一同学习和成长,共赴人生的精彩旅程,一切都不晚。
Author Description

东子,原名范景宇,“父亲教育”和“快乐教育”的积极倡导者和践行者,2009年中国十大最具影响力家教作家之一。现居长春,从事教育研究与写作,兼任中国教育学会家庭教育委员会理事、团中央青少年研究人才库专家、全国妇联家庭教育专家团专家等多种社会职务。
从事青少年心理咨询和家庭教育研究20年来,出版《好爸爸胜过好老师》、《求求你,表扬我》、《家有中等生》、《做个80后好家长》、《好爸爸,好孩子》、《快乐教育18法》等著作30余部。
应邀在北京、上海、广州、重庆、西安、南京、大连、青岛等100多个城市作相关讲座1000多场。并应邀接受中央电视台少儿频道、湖南卫视、中央人民广播电台等多家媒体的访谈。人民日报、中国教育报、中国青年报等海内外800多家媒体报道过东子的教育理念和教子经验。
东子用自己独创的教育理念,使女儿范姜国一边玩边学,3年半读完小学,两年半读完初中,不满13岁上高中,不到14岁已出版3部畅销书,且玩出了一个“品行好、能力强、分数高”的“三好学生”。
Catalogue

第一章 自立的男孩站得最稳
培养孩子的自立意识
适当做个“懒”爸妈
该放手时就放手
做雄鹰不做雏燕
逼着孩子独立自主

第二章 自律让男孩坚强可靠
家长要做孩子自律的榜样
和孩子一起制定家规
为孩子制定成长计划
教孩子“晓事理明是非”
自律是孩子走向成功的基石

第三章 自信的男孩洒脱自如
自信的男人有魅力
自卑是成长的绊脚石
自信是成功的第一秘诀
少一些干涉多一些鼓励
让孩子独立处理人际矛盾

第四章 乐观使男孩心怀梦想
给孩子乐观的性格
悲观是成长的拦路虎
智商情商更要培养心商
让自己快乐是一种能力
有知足家长才有乐观孩子

第五章 勇敢的男孩不畏挑战
让孩子学会勇敢地面对生活
告诉孩子“不要怕”
“吃苦”是孩子成长的良药
培养孩子的抗挫折能力
给孩子提供锻炼的机会

第六章 果断的男孩懂得取舍
让孩子善于决断把握机遇
教孩子学会取舍
不为孩子“包办”一切
尊重孩子的决定

第七章 大度为男孩广结善缘
让孩子做个大度的男孩
让孩子拥有包容的精神
宽容他人,快乐自己
宽容会拓宽孩子的人生之路

第八章 尽责让男孩增强能力
培养孩子的责任感
做家务是孩子的基本职责
回馈父母之爱是义务

第九章 守信的男孩有始有终
让孩子说到要做到
理性对待孩子的谎言
家长首先要言而有信
告诉孩子言而无信的后果
教会孩子失信要道歉

第十章 感恩使男孩品质高尚
让孩子感念父母之恩
让孩子感怀师长之情
让孩子感悟他人之意
让孩子懂得孝敬长辈
后记
Book Abstract

培养孩子的自立意识
自立意识是健康人格的表现之一,它对孩子的学习、生活以及成年后的事业和家庭,都具有非常重要的影响。
儿童期是孩子从完全依靠父母开始向自立过渡的阶段,是培养和训练孩子自立意识的重要时期。可是,现在不少家长对孩子过分宠爱,过度保护,过多照顾,生活上包办代替,致使许多孩子缺少自立意识,生活自理能力低下、依赖性强,意志薄弱。于是,我们身边多了一些自卑、懦弱的男孩。
所以,要想让你的孩子成为具有阳刚之美的男子汉,要从儿时着手,有意识地培养孩子自立意识及自理能力。动物界中,无论是大型动物的大象、狮子、老虎,还是小型动物的老鼠、各种鸟类,它们一旦做了父母,首先要做的就是教孩子学会觅食,因为生存是包括人类在内的所有动物第一要务。可在这一点上,我们一些家长却远不如动物做的好。
虽然很多家长都知道今后社会竞争会日趋激烈,孩子终究要独立生活,不能没有自理能力,但是由于家里只有这一个孩子,所以特别娇惯宠爱,恨不得所有事情都帮他做了。记得有一次,我去重庆讲学,一个家长向我提问,说他10岁的儿子,还要妈妈喂饭吃,该怎么办?初听这个问题,我有些震惊,然后有一种气愤的感觉,一个十岁大的男孩儿应该可以照顾别的小孩儿吃饭了,他还得妈妈喂饭,这样的儿子,还能指望他将来养家糊口吗?
这让人想起了一个故事,古时候有一对父子,儿子已长大了,却什么都不做,一天父亲要出远门,怕儿子吃不上饭,就烙了一张饼,又怕他够不着吃,把饼套在了儿子脖子上,可父亲回来,儿子还是被饿死了,因为他只知道吃脖子前面的饼,前面的吃没了,后面的转一下都不会。这个十岁小男孩,母亲再继续喂下去,结果可想而知了。
孩子总有一天会长大,你是希望他成为一个仅仅是与女人有性别差异的男性,还是成为一个具有真正意义的男人呢?如果是后者,那在他小时候,您必须要培养孩子自立意识及其自理能力。
案例——衣服该谁洗?
12岁的男孩辛辛,是小学五年级的学生,前段时间,他报名参加了学校的合唱队。入队不久,就赶上六·一儿童节,所以辛辛很重视参加合唱队后的第一次正式表演。
表演的前一天,学校的演出服发了下来,因为是租的,所以衣服有些脏,老师要求同学们回家以后都洗一洗。辛辛将衣服拿回家,扔到客厅的沙发上,让妈妈去洗。妈妈当时正在做饭,就叫他先放在那。吃完晚饭,妈妈正想帮辛辛洗衣服,楼上的阿姨就来家里串门,一直到很晚才回去。
第二天,辛辛问妈妈,让她洗的衣服干了没。妈妈“哎呀”一声,原来昨天阿姨走了以后,妈妈又收拾了一下屋子,把洗衣服的事情给忘了。这下辛辛不干了,又哭又闹。说不能去上学了,别人的衣服,都是干干净净的,只有他的是脏的,这都是妈妈的错……
这位妈妈一边给儿子道歉,一边用湿抹布擦这件演出服,并说下次一定不会这样了,衣服擦得差不多了,又经过好说歹说,总算把儿子劝好。
到了学校,老师见辛辛的衣服还是有些脏,问为什么没有洗。“老师,我替妈妈跟你说声对不起,因为她昨天忘了,所以就没给我洗。请您原谅她吧。”辛辛眨巴大眼睛,仰头回答老师的问题……
东子给家长的建议——
1.让儿子了解,什么事是自己的
培养一个自立的孩子,首先要让孩子具备自立意识。在孩子心中埋下一颗自立的种子,让其深深扎根。这样,在孩子心里,就会有这样的一种意识,凡事要靠自己,有了这样的观念,他就会更坚强更自信。
仅有意识是不够的,还必须让孩子通过实践,打理自己的生活。生活自理,简单的说就是自我服务,自己照顾自己,它是一个人应该具备的最基本的生活技能。孩子生活自理能力的形成,有助于培养孩子的责任感、自信心以及自己处理问题的能力,对孩子今后的生活也会产生深远的影响。
而如果父母总是帮孩子做事,孩子会有一种错误的认识,那就是这些事情本来就应该由父母来做。因为至始至终都是父母代劳,所以孩子并不觉得这是在帮他做,反而认为这是父母的职责。就像案例中讲到的辛辛,本来自己的衣服应该自己洗,就算因为演出洗不好,可以求妈妈帮忙,但是一定要让他知道,这是在求别人帮助。对于一个12岁的孩子来讲,洗自己的衣服是基本的自我服务,是自己的分内之事。但通过这个案例,我们能看出来,在辛辛的思想里,衣服本来就应该妈妈洗。
家长有时候会觉得,一些事情孩子现在还做不好,就理所应当的替他做好了,既没有刻意告诉孩子,也没有让孩子参与过,孩子想当然地会认为,这件事就应该是家长做的。
所以,我们在日常生活中一定要注意,为孩子代劳时,要让孩子明白这件事情本来是应该他自己做的,家长只是暂时代劳,以后孩子能做的时候,还是要交给他自己来完成。一定要让孩子知道,什么事情是属于自己的。
让孩子了解什么事情是应当他自己完成的,是培养孩子自立意识的第一步。所以,家长要经常有意识地灌输给孩子这样的思想,要让孩子知道,哪些事情是他这个年龄段该独立做的,在这个前提下,才能谈自己的事情自己做。
2.告诉儿子,自己的事情应该由自己做
上文的案例中,辛辛得知妈妈没有帮自己洗衣服,马上就哭闹起来。这是因为他觉得这是妈妈的错,妈妈不应该忘记帮他洗衣服。
……

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