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Jingdong book

非暴力沟通(珍藏版)

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非暴力沟通(珍藏版)

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著名的马歇尔·卢森堡博士发现了神奇而平和的非暴力沟通方式,通过非暴力沟通,世界各地无数的人们获得了爱、和谐和幸福!
当我们褪去隐蔽的精神暴力,爱将自然流通。
如今,在这个地球上,暴力事件频发,人们的仇恨、矛盾、对立上升到一定程度,似乎必须酿成流血事件才算得以发泄。如果我们有强烈的想要改变现状的愿望和动力,我们完全可以从提升内在自我出发,改善这个局面,改善人类社会的未来,缔造永久的和平。我们每个人都有必要来学习非暴力沟通方式,使用这种爱的语言,准确表达自己的感受,认真倾听对方的请求,达到人与人之间心灵的相通和真正的和谐共处。这,并不是天方夜谭。
非暴力沟通(又称爱的语言)被联合国誉为全球非暴力沟通解决冲突的最佳实践之一,它的培训目前在全球35个国家和地区开展。
《非暴力沟通》入选了香港大学推荐的50本必读书籍。
这次我们在原来的基础上制作了珍藏版,致力于使非暴力沟通的理念进一步得到推广。
Content Description

著名的马歇尔·卢森堡博士发现了一种沟通方式,依照它来谈话和聆听,能使人们情意相通,和谐相处,这就是“非暴力沟通”。
作为一个遵纪守法的好人,也许我们从来没有想过和“暴力”扯上关系,不过如果稍微留意一下现实生活中的谈话方式,并且用心体会各种谈话方式给我们的不同感受,我们一定会发现,有些话确实伤人。言语上的指责、嘲讽、否定、说教以及任意打断、拒不回应、随意出口的评价和结论给我们带来的情感和精神上的创伤,甚至比肉体的伤害更加令人痛苦。这些无心或有意的语言暴力让人与人变得冷漠、隔膜、敌视。
非暴力沟通能够疗愈内心深处的隐秘伤痛;超越个人心智和情感的局限性;突破那些引发愤怒、沮丧、焦虑等负面情绪的思维方式;用不带伤害的方式化解人际间的冲突;学会建立和谐的生命体验。
非暴力沟通指导我们转变谈话和聆听的方式。我们不再条件反射地反应,而是去明了自己的观察、感受和愿望,有意识地使用语言,既诚实、清晰地表达自己,又尊重与倾听他人。我们在沟通过程中培育对彼此的尊重、关注与爱,使人和谐互助。在使用爱的语言的同时,我们也提高了自己爱的能力。
Author Description

马歇尔·B·卢森堡博士,是国际性缔造和平组织非暴力沟通中心(CNVC)的创始人和教育服务主管。由于在促进人类和谐共处方面的突出成就,2006年,他荣获地球村基金会颁发的和平之桥奖。
卢森堡博士早年成长于动荡不安的底特律市,这使他对于怎样运用新的沟通方式在面对暴力时可以和平解决分歧,发展出浓厚的兴趣。这方面的兴趣,使他于1961年在美国威斯康星大学师从卡尔·罗杰斯(CarlRogers)获得了临床心理学博士学位。随后的生活经历以及在比较宗教学方面的研究,促使他发展出非暴力沟通模式,不仅教会人们如何使用使个人生活更加和谐美好,同时解决了众多世界范围内的冲突和争端。
卢森堡博士第一次应用非暴力沟通模式,是在20世纪60年代美国联邦政府资助学校里废除种族隔离制度的项目中,进行调解和沟通技巧的培训。1984年,他成立了非暴力沟通中心(CNVC),如今,有超过200名经CNVC认证的非暴力沟通培训师在全球35个国家和地区开展NVC培训。
卢森堡博士手上拿着吉他和木偶,多年来前往世界上一些最为暴力的地区工作,他身上充满了精神能量,告诉我们,如何创造一个更加和平、更加令人满意的世界。卢森堡博士目前定居于瑞士。
Catalogue

译序
前言

第一章 让爱融入生活
也许我们并不认为自己的谈话方式是“暴力”的,但我们的语言确实常常引发自己和他人的痛苦。后来,我发现了一种沟通方式,依照它来谈话和聆听,能使我们情意相通,乐于互助。我称之为“非暴力沟通”。

第二章 是什么蒙蔽了爱?
我从小就学着以貌似客观的语言表达自己。如果老师布置的作业我不想做,那他就“太过分了”。如果有人开车横冲到我前面,那他就是“混蛋”。如果女友想多一些体贴,那她就“太粘人了”。可是,如果我想多一些体贴,那她“冷漠得像个木头”。如果同事更关心细节,他就是“有强迫症”。反之,如果我更在乎细节,他就是“粗心大意”。

第三章 区分观察和评论
我从未见过愚蠢的孩子/我见过有个孩子有时做的事/
我不理解/或不按我的吩咐做事情/但他不是愚蠢的孩子/请在你说他愚蠢之前/想一想,他是个愚蠢的孩子,还是/他懂的事情与你不一样?

第四章 体会和表达感受
我在美国学校学了21年,却想不起有什么人问过我的感受。人们认为感受是无关紧要的,重要的是各种权威主张的“正确思想”。于是,我们被鼓励服从权威而非倾听自己。

第五章 感受的根源
如果我们想利用他人的内疚,我们通常采取的办法是,把自己不愉快的感受归咎于对方。家长也许会和孩子说:“你成绩不好让爸爸妈妈伤透了心!”言下之意是,他们快乐或不快乐是孩子的行为造成的。看到父母的痛苦,孩子可能会感到内疚,并因此调整行为来迎合他们。遗憾的是,这种调整只是为了避免内疚,而非出自对学习的热爱。

第六章 请求帮助
我们越是将他人的不顺从看作是对我们的排斥,我们所表达的愿望就越有可能被看作是命令。
一旦人们认为我们是在强迫他们,他们就会不太想满足我们的愿望。

第七章 用全身心倾听
遭遇他人的痛苦时,我们常常急于提建议,安慰或表达我们的态度和感受。可是,倾听意味着全心全意地体会他人的信息——这为他人充分表达痛苦创造了条件。

第八章 倾听的力量
通过倾听,我们将意识到他人的人性以及彼此的共通之处,这会使自我表达变得容易些。
我们越是倾听他人语言背后的感受和需要,就越不怕与他们坦诚地沟通。
我们最不愿意示弱的时候往往是因为担心失去控制想显得强硬的时候。

第九章 爱自己
我深信,出于对生命纯洁的爱,而不是出于恐惧、内疚、羞愧、职责或义务来选择生活,是爱惜自己的重要体现。

第十章 充分表达愤怒
在我看来,愤怒是我们的思维方式造成的。它的核心是尚未满足的需要。
如果我们能够借助它来提醒自己——我们有需要没有得到满足,而我们的思维方式正使它难以得到满足,那愤怒就是有价值的。

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