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Jingdong book

十年后，我不认识你（捂脸）……

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Books Youth Literature Love / Emotional

Jingdong book

十年后，我不认识你（捂脸）……

Name: 十年后，我不认识你（捂脸）……
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3106010651
Price: 23.57 USD
Availability: OutOfStock

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Editer Recommend

1. “封面故事”是《Zui小说》经典栏目（没有之一），它的选题新颖，内容诙谐有趣，以分享作者日常生活为主，揭露了作者们不为人知的一面。

2. 郭敬明领衔Zui世作家全员参与，精彩的《封面故事》集锦，难忘的青春爆笑特典，从“无下限篇”的自黑到“疯狂爆料篇”的吐槽，从“不服来战篇”的中二到“短暂性急性精神障碍篇”的无节操，不一样的故事，一样的诙谐幽默、犀利毒舌……从文字到插图、从装帧到设计，献上会让你捧腹的青春笑料！

3. 2016年《Zui小说》跨入第十个年头，让我们一起回忆过往青春里的点滴记忆，让我们陪你再一起笑过，一起感动过，因为《Zui小说》就是我们共同的青春时代，《十年后，我不认识你（捂脸）……》作为《Zui小说》十周年，隆重爆笑登场。

Content Description

《Zui小说》封面故事大集合——《十年后，我不认识你（捂脸）……》，内置“疯狂爆料篇”“不服来战篇”和“短暂性急性精神障碍篇”三大部分，二十一个鲜明主题，一百个诙谐小故事。郭敬明领衔落落、笛安、安东尼等联袂“出演”，配上Q版萌神meiyou的四宫格漫画，为你献上一场恣意畅快的爆笑盛宴。你是否曾经偷偷将毛毛虫塞进同桌的铅笔盒，又或是红着脸递上满是错别字的情书？你是否对你的奇葩室友展开过疯狂吐槽，又或是对自己做过的无节操糗事羞于启齿？在这里，每个存在于生命的美好时刻都被珍藏、记录。

Author Description

郭敬明主编

"作家，编剧，导演，国际版权出品人，上海Zui世文化发展有限公司董事长、总经理，《Zui小说》杂志主编，《文艺风象》《文艺风赏》杂志出品人。

“80后”作家群的代表人物，连续十年登上中国福布斯名人榜，连续八年国内出版销售记录的创造者，多次荣登年度销量总冠军宝座，出版数部长篇小说销量均突破百万册。

2013年，首度“触电”做导演。

Catalogue

chapter 1 疯狂爆料篇

004 我到底有多娘/我到底有多man

010 最不堪回首的一段情

014 年终算总账

018 我们的少年囧事

021 ZUI中最×××的人

025 你这么××，你家里人知道吗？

028 你以为你们姐妹间的小秘密就不【哔——】吗！

chapter 2 不服来战篇

036 我，你值得拥有

041 作者大战编辑

044 他们的审美我永远不懂

048 我会告诉你我有这项特殊技能吗？

052 那些年我们拍死过地×××

054 为了×××，我也是蛮拼的

058 因为××，所以人性

chaper3 短暂性急性精神障碍篇

066 那些生命中丢脸而又猥琐的事

072 我的阴暗面

077 童颜巨星

081 生命中丢脸而又猥琐的事（第二弹）

084 “我简直忍到爆尿！”

088 恋爱中我极品的一面

092 ×××你该吃药了！

Book Abstract

请大家欢迎大王我来压轴陈词。

作为讨论“娘”这个话题的主力军，(……)我觉得我其实一点都没有发言权。因为在我的人生里面，除了长了一张小SHOU 脸，留了一头小SHOU 刘海，脸上是白嫩的小SHOU 肌肤，瘦弱的小SHOU 身材，穿着fashion 的小SHOU 衣服，并且经常说一些小SHOU 的撒娇对白之外……我真的没有什么地方可以被人说是娘了。（……）

所以，面对这个题，我陷入了沉思，绞尽脑汁之后，回忆了一下我生活中几个比较娘的地方，给大家作为参考，以及茶余饭后的笑料。如果被（消音）了，那就证明，我的生活已经不适合年轻人观赏了……此为题外话。

首先，对于我这张脸，我承认我的做法是稍微娘了一些。我每天早上晚上，需要往脸上涂抹的东西超过了十三样，而且还不包括白天喝的抗氧化萃取液和各种胶原蛋白饮料和维生素药片……每当我对着镜子里贴着面膜的自己，或者像一个疯狂的科学家一样倒腾着瓶瓶罐罐的时候，我都会觉得：这也太man 了吧！

其次，我害怕打雷。这个话题已经被无数次提起，我也就不想多说了。但是，无论这样的情况发生多少次，每当天上雷声一响，我就娇弱地捂住耳朵开始撒娇的场景，总是能震撼在场的所有人，并且当雷声持续达到高潮的时候，我脸色苍白扶住胸口去厕所里呕吐的背影，都会让人觉得：我操！男人痛苦的样子实在太爷们儿了！

再次，我的鞋子裤子，衣服的干净程度已经到达了变态的地步。之前的我，总是无数次地将自己脚上的鞋子，摆到小西、阿敏他们的鞋子边上，然后一边摇头一边痛心疾首地“啧啧啧啧啧”……就算他们买了新鞋，我也敢走过去摆在一起，然后说：“你们总算穿了双干净的鞋子。”至于痕痕袖口上不小心滴到的菜汤，阿亮黑色风衣上的黄色头发，我总是觉得，人还是少看些“脏东西”比较好，眼不见为净……至于现在，我已经发展到了走到小西旁边，抬起脚，看看我的白色鞋底，再对比下小西的鞋面，然后一边摇头一边痛心疾首地“啧啧啧啧”……我觉得，自己真的是越来越man 了，这样爷们儿的自己，让我觉得好心痛，我应该是一个美形的纤细美少年才对呀！

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Jingdong book

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