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Jingdong book

生命中不能承受之爱

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生命中不能承受之爱

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叶天是北京的一名记者,与梅红有着幸福的婚姻。但由于他不愿向现实妥协,记者工作干得并不如意,最终做了一个小商人。梦想破灭,叶天也即将步入中年。有天,他无意中救了一个正被流氓骚扰的女演员,这个女演员叫叶子,她不愿意被潜规则,因而事业也发展的并不顺利。叶子爱上了叶天,这使得叶天的婚姻出现了危机。然而,由于已经把叶子看成了他余生所有梦想的化身,叶天其实一直拒绝着叶子,绝望的叶子只好选择了自杀而死。宗师梅红不计前嫌重新接纳了叶天,可这样的爱,生命岂能承受?
Author Description

徐德新,男,1973年5月出生于湖南省临澧县。大学本科学历,原《北京晚报》编辑、记者。发表散文、随笔、小小说若干,其中散文《父亲二十年前的叮嘱》连续多次被作为中考语文阅读理解范文并入选多种文集以及中学生语文教辅材料;小小说《一只蚌笛》入选《2007年中国微型小说精选》和《中国微型小说名家名作百年经典》等。此为长篇小说处女作。
Book Abstract

第一章 酒吧
有美女你一定会在酒吧里见到一些漂亮姑娘,我说的是那种真正的美女。如果你的运气足够好,你或许有机会和她坐得很近,有机会和她搭讪,甚至有机会和她喝上一杯。如果你不是一个小气得令人发指的男人,你一定会抢着替她买单,然后,你一定会彬彬有礼地问她:小姐,我可以送您回家吗?当然,我说的是那种真正的美女,并不是随便哪个看上去还不错的女人都有那么大的魅力。我曾经在一些私人场合碰巧见到过一些当红的电影女明星,不骗你说,她们中的大部分其实丑的无法形容,害得我从此再也不想看任何电影。于是,我认为天底下最假模假式的东西就是电影和电影明星了。每每听到一些年轻的女粉丝们议论着哪个女明星有多么多么漂亮,我都情不自禁地有一种想要呕吐的感觉。我知道这种感觉说出来很不好,但是我实话实说,有些“所谓”的明星美女其实长得实在难看。“叶老板,对不起,您要的喜力啤酒刚好没有了。”年轻的酒吧女服务员走过来,彬彬有礼地对我说。她的声音打破了我独自遐想的思绪。可能因此我患上了“电影恐惧症”吧,所以,只要一闲下来,我宁愿选择呆在酒吧里面消磨时光,也不愿再去看电影。
酒吧有美女,我知道,这是全世界酒吧长盛不衰的秘密。“哦,没有关系。”我回过神来说。由于我经常光顾这家酒吧,这里的服务员差不多都认识我。“要不给您来个科罗娜?”她小声地问我。“可以,谢谢。”我说。我先前那么说,如果你以为我来酒吧是为了看美女的,那你就大错特错了。实话告诉你,本人对美女已经没有多大的兴趣。就是那些我认为“真正的美女”的美女,也很难再打动我的“芳心”。“芳心”?姑且这么说吧,因为我很难找到一个更合适的词儿来形容我在这方面的感受。说实话,像今天一样,我很多次坐在“天使”酒吧里,其实纯粹只是为了喝酒。顶多,是为了能尽情倾听这里的萨克斯曲罢了。“对不起,叶老板,给您推荐的科罗娜刚好也没有了。”先前的那个女服务员走过来,不好意思地对我说。“哦,没关系。”我和颜悦色地说。谁叫她那么有礼貌呢,尽管她还远远称不上是一个美女。“要不给您来个嘉士伯吧,您看怎么样?”她继续小声地问我。“可以,谢谢!”我说。酒吧总是个暖昧的地方,这一点我承认。但是实际上,我眼里的酒吧里只有酒,没有女人。不过,这么说并不准确,或许是因为我心里已经住了一个女人,且只有她一个人,那就是我的老婆梅红。当然,心里只有老婆,并不说明我不能到酒吧来喝酒。我这辈子最大的两个享受,一个是老婆,另一个就是酒。不信的话,你可以去问梅红,关于我,她了解的可能比我自己还要多。她可是个地地道道的好女人,绝对不会向你撒谎。“真的对不起,叶老板,就这一会儿嘉士伯也卖完了。”那女服务员走过来,尴尬地对我说。“没关系。”我有些沮丧,但没有发作。谁叫她那么有礼貌呢,尽管她远不是一位美女。“您看,还是您自己点吧!”她微笑着说。我坐不下去了。“我明天再来。”我站起身对她说,“今天还有点事情,我得走了。”“今天真是不好意思,叶老板。”她咧嘴笑一下,说:“您明天来,我请您喝一杯。”她那么一咧嘴,就更不像个美女了。嗨,光顾着聊啤酒和美女,差点儿忘了做自我介绍。我,免贵姓叶,单名一个天字;男,35岁,当过失败的诗人和作家,也干过成功的记者,目前独自经营着一家不大不小的广告公司;有一个温柔贤惠的妻子和一个活泼可爱的女儿。在2010年的北京,像我这样不大不小的公司老板成千上万,随便扔个酒瓶,都能砸到那么一两个。我走出“天使”酒吧,一时无处可去。一看手表,刚刚下午6点钟光景,慧忠北路上正热闹。我一边点上一支烟,一边就那样无所事事地站在马路牙子上。我想,如果我还是25岁的年纪,我肯定不会就这么便宜了这家酒吧。
我估计我会在里面大声地骂娘、使劲地拍桌子,或者故意说些不堪入耳的话把那个女服务员气得放声大哭、直到老板出来给我赔礼道歉还不肯罢休。最后,我会趾高气扬地对老板说:“您这是个什么破酒吧?成心让我不好过是不是?”老板则一定会满脸堆笑地安抚我说:“哪里!哪里!您明天来,我请您喝一杯,成吗?”但是我已经35岁了,不会再去做那种指点江山、挥斥方道的丢脸事。35岁是什么样的年纪?我曾经认真思考过这个问题,最后得出的结论是:35岁是一个男人人生的黄金分割点,后退一步是青年,前进一步是中年。一方面,他洞悉了成人世界的一切,对这个世界的运行法则了然于胸,基本没有什么事情能再让他大喜、或者大悲;另一方面,在他内心的某个角落里又还深藏着那么一点点“青葱”情怀、一点点所谓的理想主义色彩。他可以在上班的时候哈欠连天、昏昏欲睡,甚至与别人瞎侃一些低级下流的黄色笑话,也可以来一次“英雄救美”、在回家的路上冒着生命危险去救一个正在遭受流氓欺负的年轻女孩。如果这时候你说,你这简直就是胡扯,世界上哪里还有这样的极品男人?那么我告诉你,你很幸运,因为你遇到了我,我就是。如果你碰巧还是一个女性读者,我奉劝你千万不要自作多情地对我说——你爱我!即使你真的拥有天使一样的美丽容颜,我也不敢保证我能多瞧你一眼。原因我已在前面说过了。总而言之,25岁至35岁,是一个男人生命中的黄金十年。而我这颗金子最终能不能闪闪发光,现在已到了最后的关键时刻。不管怎样,如果你了解了我过去的几年是如何走过来的,了解了我的追求、我的失落,了解了我的爱和我的恨,你就不会惊讶于我会勇敢地“舍身救美”了。其实这么多年我一直隐约觉得,一个像我这样的已婚男人,一定会遇到那么一个与众不同的美丽女孩,在深夜的马路边等着我奋不顾身地去解救的。当然,我那么做决不是为了所谓的婚外恋——对于梅红以外的任何爱情,我早已不能承受。第二章文学青年在我25岁的时候,我算得上是一个文学青年,那是我在高中时偷偷给女同学写情书后落下的后遗症。虽然我在大学里学的是工科,毕业后的工作也是在北京一家原子弹零配件工厂里面做机电工程师之类的角色,但我的确是个不折不扣的文学男青年。
……

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